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We’ve all been there — starting conversations with a local guy on an app and then flaking out before meeting in person. You connect with someone quickly and intensely — sharing your life story, your secrets from home, and travel tips from wherever you’ve just come from.

These fast friendships are fun and one of the most amazing experiences, but as a gay traveler, there’s an added challenge: most people assume that others around them are heterosexual — it’s just a habit of the world.

(And, controversially, even some heterosexual people seem to be using gay dating apps simply to make “gay best friends.”) No matter where you are in the world — from Dubai to Dublin — there are always going to be other LGBTQ individuals around.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t mean every place is safe or friendly.

As a minority group, gay people always struggle to feel included.

Dealing with loneliness is just an extra challenge when you’re in a foreign environment.

There are hot-spot gay cities and safe choices on every continent — from Mexico City to Madrid, Berlin to Bangkok, Sydney to São Paolo — but there’s even more fun outside the gay bubble.

Just about anywhere can be a “gay travel destination.” (Of course, not everywhere can be a gay- destination.) There is a world of other cities with millions more LGBT individuals.

Many guidebooks include information about existing local LGBTQ organizations or clinics.

Trusting your instincts when backpacking is an important skill.

I remember my first visit to Amman, Jordan, where I wanted to explore the city’s gay culture, but I was too afraid to meet anyone from the gay apps — even if it was just for a coffee. Anyone who’s been backpacking for an extended trip probably recognizes the familiar five-minute friendships.

Sure, I found other backpackers interested in the ladyboy bars and strange strip clubs, but I was after a more local experience.

So instead, I found myself venturing out to Bangkok’s gay nightlife in Silom alone.

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