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It’s not her fault – the nature of the business simply precludes it. One of the characteristics of meaningful work is that it gets rewarded.In the meantime, there’s no one to support you in your time of need. For the reward to register in the human brain, it has to arrive immediately after the completion of a task – within seconds to minutes.One of the most common romantic fantasies that men and women in this country tend to have is to date an actor.The men all want an Angelina Jolie, and all the women want a Brad Pitt.

So the actor’s happiness is perpetually determined from the outside: the opinions of casting directors, producers, reviewers, and their audience.They sling drinks and wait tables, waiting for their big break. Every call and meeting with producers and agents is an emergency.One of my mentors put it bluntly: “If you’re hungry, you’ll forget about love. Even though there’s a less than 10% chance of anything coming out of any given audition, she never knows which one’s going to be the big one, so she has to show up every day. In addition to the sudden-death auditions and callbacks that usually happen on weekends when you’re trying to get together, actors also have paying gigs that happen at inconvenient times for workaday mortals.So you’re the one thinking she’s a piece of heavenly perfection, but she’s convinced she’s turning into Quasimodo.Eventually, you’ll get tired of your compliments going nowhere, she will think you a fraud (see #4) and things unravel from there.

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